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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Managing Anger

Anger Management

It's mind-boggling how people go through life being angry all the time; when they could take advantage of anger management classes, counseling, or even anger management therapy. It is very unhealthy living day to day without managing anger. When I get angry; I release it on paper. I sometimes write whomever; I'm angry at a mean letter which I destroy after reading. I call them every possible name I can think out. In the end, I feel much better having unleashed that anger. If this is not managing anger then it is controlling anger. This poem for example is one instance; where I was really angry. Yes, I do get angry too. After all, I'm human. You see in the spur of the moment, this is the easiest thing to do to control anger. Try it. Who knows? This anger management tactic may work for you.



I would be better off
1
I would be better off
If you had let me be
If you had dismiss me
Or tell me shoo, shoo
Don't bother me
2
I would be better off
Not knowing your face
So I won't have to see it
All over the place
3
I would be better off
Not knowing your name
Then I would not have to worry
if you are sad or havin pain

4
I would be better off
If your bad side I see
If my pinky, you set free
Then I would let you be
For my heart now in two
Finds it difficult to be whole again
I would be better off

Monday, September 24, 2007

Child Beauty Pageants

pageant queen

Beauty Pageant in your very own backyard. Every summer, I go to the Namiss Pageant which is held at the beautiful Marriott Hotel in Brooklyn to support my friend who has a grand daughter that participates. While only one can win the crown; everyone is a winner in my book. To achieve success one must work hard and have confidence and a desire to achieve whatever.
A girl must do her part because the crown is not handed down to those who are just laid back. You have to earn it! The pageant Judges are focused on communication and presentation skills. It is very fun and entertaining up to the point where the decision is made and the winner is crowned Queen. Tempers fly and it turns to be rather emotional. Many who do not place feel bad. Girls cry and parents get upset. Well, considering the fees and preparation, I tend to understand where they come from; yet this should be a time to learn and improve. This is a time to boost the young girl or young lady's self-esteem because no body likes losing. Failure is normal and anyone can win pageant queen by following tips found at tips and secrets to winning your next beauty pageant.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Caring , Love , Empathy, Compassion


I passed her way for 3 years. I saw her almost every day. In this woman, I saw my sister, my mother, my friend, and yet, because she lived on the sidewalk, because the sidewalk was her bed, and her
clothes were not fancy, she did not live in a mansion, all her belongings was in a little crocus bag ; I got caught in the same trap and treated her like she was a ghost. I treated her like she did not exist.And, that is wrong.


Today, we talk and sometimes I stretch out my hands to her when I can . I am not saying that we should go out there and be friends with everyone out there, No! Too many are already pretty much messed up.
The homeless, less fortunate or those who are different need someone to talk too. It does not take much to say a word of kindness or encouragement. Some people need to think about how they would feel if the tables were turned and maybe then empathy will flow. These acts of kindness and emotions of empathy will not take away from us; yet, some of us are guilty. Some of us are so wrapped up in our own lives that we do not hear or see the hurting. These are human beings like us, born in God's image.
Maybe on their life's journey something happened that placed them in the state they are or they are just born that way ;but that is no excuse to exclude them and treat them like they are invisible. Some people fail to realize that no one is immune to life's setbacks or failures.
Life is
treacherous.
One never knows what will happen in the next second; so it is pivitol that bowels of empathy be opened and shared with those we come in contact with because one never knows. People wait when a catastrophe happens; but by then it's too late. One would think that Columbine and Virginia Tech heightened our awareness but the circumstances surrounding the events seem to be long forgotten. We all need to do our part to prevent another

God
is still working on me

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Never Give Up

Success

You make plans, you prepare, and things turn out a different way. This is the time when you should be more determined to achieve whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. Failure is normal and it is a way of helping one to assess strengths and weaknesses. So, you didn't win the title, crown,land that dream job, marry the right person, your diet failed, or pass an exam. So What? Life goes on instead of giving up and dwelling on failure get yourself back on the horse and work at whatever it is you want to achieve.
Ask anyone who rode a bike for the first time and they'll tell you how many times they fell and how many times they got back on just to master bike riding. The same concept applies to any and everything. Stay the course and don't give up even if you fail.Remember failure is normal.

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Shrink

Depression

Why is it that most of the times; people refer others to shrinks because of the slightest things. Why are people so scared? After the rat trap incident, I was sent to counseling because it was believed that I had a few loose screws. There, I was trying to help someone and my gesture of kindness was taken the wrong way. This messes up things because it hinders me from helping others due to that little incident.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Jumping to the Wrong Conclusions

Rat Traps Gift

The holidays had arrived and the class was over by then. I began a series of note forwarding by way of email which at the time did not seem bodersome to me. I bought a classy gift which was turned down and felt bad because the recepient made it look like I needed it more and rejected it. The went on to explain that trinkets would be much more appreciated.

Few weeks prior, I read an article online about the effects rat droppings have on the body. I forwarded a copy under the subject heading let me clean your office. Obviously, the email was not read and it was judged by the subject title. When the classy gift was rejected I proceeded to the .99 cent store; where I purchased glued rat traps somewhere between 5 or 8. I placed them in a little gift bag and delivered them to mailbox. The Secretary was there and she showed me where the mailbox was. Because a note was not left; it was taken the wrong way.
I was surmoned to the counselling office the next day. Evidently, the Director was contacted and she personally called me to come in. When I got there, I was told that such and such does not want to talk to me no more. Such and such think I am trying to hurt them and such and such think I want a relationship because I offered to clean such and such office. I'm like whoa! such and such sure does not think highly of me. Why would I want to cause harm and leave a trail of evidence and a witness that going to come right back to me. Furthermore, how is gluey rat trap going to harm someone? I can understand that if a dead bird was left neatly wrapped up then there would be cause for concern. But this? The Director made me promise to avoid all contacts which I did promise but did not live up too because after counselling sessions were over; such and such was more chummy with me. It was like nothing never happened.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Relationships

Feelings not mutual
I listened to her lectures for a whole semester and she was good in terms of delivery and teaching methods. In class she said,"she does not like to gossip. When others go on and on she tends to keep quiet". I admire this quality because I'm just the same. I hate gossip. She made it known to the class, that she has office hours and should they need to talk feel free to come in. Well, I took her up on her offer because I had some minor problem and thought I found just the person that could guide and counsel me. When I got to her office for the first time, it was cluttered with all kinds of books and rat droppings on the floor. People say, a cluttered office relates to one's mind; yet, she seemed to have it all together. I drew her attention to the rat droppings and right away she called someone on the horn and filed a complain. I proceeded to tell her what was bugging me and this woman was unbelievable.She was very attentive and concerned and even offered me help. People hardly give me the time of day and this was special. It was rare. I began to view this woman as an angel. The mother figure I did not have. The mentor and confidant I did not have. She told me that there was no right and wrong answers to my problem and if I was strong enough to live with my decision. She offered to help me further with another concern for which she is an expert in and gave me a hug before I left. I left her office feeling like I was on cloud 9 ; but,as time progressed,four years later things changed. Well, God is still working. You want to know more this is a mini series. Read on.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Lord help me

Gee I forgot

forgetful mind

I went on this interview for an internship and was never called back. I have the credentials and I am willing to work for peanuts just to gain some hands-on experience. You know one sits in the class room day after day or night after night, but having a theorectical idea is just not good enough. Hands on experience account for a great deal. Well, I did my homework about the company and was proud at myself for answering questions thrown at me. I was dressed professionally, my resume was exceptional, and I conducted myself in a professional manner. Continue reading because you can learn something from this. I believe the part I messed up on was when the question of tell me some of the courses you have taken was thrown at me. This is the part where I was shocked at myself. I have been in college for 5 years now and should be able to name the last 6 courses I did last Semester but I couldnot. When I got to 3 subjects down the road, I was grappling. Well, what did I tell you? God is still on me.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Putting It Off May Cost You

Do it Now
Do you ever find yourself putting things off? I mean things you can do right this instant. Well, I am guilty of that and in the end I get stress and depress . Really! I have gotten so much into the habit of saying that people die and leave work behind, or that Rome was not built in a day; that just getting the smallest things done and completed ontime is easily put off. I know this is bad and unprofessional; however, I've cooked up a plan and set it in motion. I write my tasks down and assign days to them. This makes it easy because when I check my list, I know what's done and what needs to be done. So, if you have an exam or report to write don't wait until the last moment. You might end up cramming or turning in a paper which is the first draft. If you don't make payments on time; you may end up with a late fee charge. The idea is to do what you can today instead of waiting for tomorrow which may never come. Hey! I'm still striving towards perfection.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Scammed



One bright Wednesday, in early Spring, I was at the bus stop waiting for my bus. There I was minding my own business, when two men stepped out of a car. One was well dressed and the other was in ordinary clothes. The one in the ordinary clothes approached me and ask me if I knew where he could fax a letter to Africa. Since, I was a few blocks away from the College, I suggested that he should try there; maybe some one would assist him. He said he did not want too many people in his business. He showed me a letter that looked ligit. From the time he proceeded to tell me about inheritance money; he had received and was willing to share it with me - a total stranger; smoke screens went up and I said thanks but no thanks I cannot help. He left me and he and his well dressed friend got in the car and drove off. Things do happpen for a reason. True, I was scammed the first time and I did learn something because now I know what to look for. Anytime a perfect stranger or someone not so perfect offers me money; well, I have to analyze and scrutinize the situation. Anytime someone yo9u do not know from Adam offers to share huge sums of money, or ask how you doing financial wise; Run! This is a clue of a scam to follow. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Part 2- Self-Endangerment


I found myself sitting in a car with two strangers and I wasn't afraid. The lady gave the man who was driving the car the envelope which he opened and read a note that said "Five O which is the police already got their share split the money with some one who needs it. Since the bills were big ,the man said he knew of some one who works at a nearby check cashing place who would change those bills into smaller bills for him. He left us in the car and went for 5 minutes. He said the man wanted to know if I had money in the bank so when I deposit this money their would be no suspicion. Trick #2 was to get some of that money out of the bank to prove to this pphantom man at the check cashing place that I had enough to keep me before touching that money. Trick #3 was to get the money out of the bank hand it over to one of the con Artists who would take it to the invisible guy at the check cashing place and later it would be refunded. When all this was done, the man went first, and came back with a brown paper bag. Next went the woman who came back with a brown paper bag. Lastly, I went in search of Charlie at the check cashing place. The cashier says to me there's no one here by that name. I went back to the spot where I left the two Cons and they were gone. They disappear with my money into thin air. Well, this has woke me up from since and so I am wary of my surroundings because I am not perfect.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Putting Myself in Danger By not sticking to my Beliefs and Convictions


Grown-ups advise children to refrain from talking to strangers in the hopes that they will be safe yet, grown-ups tend to do the same things they preach against. I've lectured kids about the dangers of getting into a strangers' car, talking to strangers, and going with a complete stranger yet, one sunny day in the year 2000, I found myself in a situation I warned against. Well, like I tell you I am not perfect so please! I was on my way to a shopping center; when a woman literally bumped into me. Now that I think of it, maybe I was an easy mark or being the kind- hearted mortal that I am, I made nothing of it and thought it was an accident; only to find that,the same woman stopped and asked whether I knew where a certain agency was. I explained I did not know and then she proceeded to open an envelope with lots of dead presidents, stating that she had found this money and and wanted to return it back to some agency it was addressed too. Well, I was quickly won over after seeing all these bills. I told her put the money away. It's not wise to display all these bills in public considering this was a busy shopping center. So she said she knew somewhere we could talk. I was unware that she was working with someone at the time because her partner in crime immediately pulled up and she said we can seat here. I hesitated but did get into the car of a complete stranger, who drove to a location; where it was less busy and the first stage of their little ploy was accomplished and achieved. Stupid move you say, God is still working. Read tommorrow's post to find out what happened next.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Should have found a job then go to College


I started college late. Thank God I made to graduation. Why is it that people expect one to land the big job as soon as they graduate? I have no experience in my field and have done volunteer work to make up for that. But, these days, I understand employers don't give a second thought to unpaid internship much less for volunteer work. I did not want to work, study and raise children at the same time. To me it is just too taxing. Now, that I've graduated and looking for a job I see I should have worked because job descriptions always ask for experience or they pay you the equivalent to a high school diploma which I think is highly unfair.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

First Credit Card


Ah! the The Credit Card
A headache and a solution. When I got my credit card in the nineties, I was on cloud 9. The words charge it was like a daily prayer. I had a card with Discover with a credit line of $1000 and ended up owing $3000. Well, you know late payments fees and high interest does that. Well, one day, I signed up with a debt solution company , that ripped me off ; when that did not work, those kind folks at Discover decided to let me pay half the debt. God bless them because that debt company was not making those payments. I learned my lesson after all I am not perfect. Today, I am rebuilding my credit. I found a prepaid debit mastercard that helps me control my spending. I am only responsible for paying a dollar everytime I put money on the card and a yearly fee of $30. There is no interest or Aprs. I put money on the card from my checking account. If the card has no money, then I am saved from accumulating debt. One cannot spend what one doesn't have. Prepaid is peace of mind and control. It's just embarrassing, stressful and annoying when creditors keep harrassing one for their money. So, if you thinking of getting a credit card, go with Eufora Prepaid you'll be glad you did. Not only will you build credit, peace of mind is guarranteed.Click

Monday, June 25, 2007

Neglecting Others


I passed her way for 3 years. I saw her almost every day. In this woman, I saw
my sister, my mother, my friend and yet, because she lived on the sidewalk, because
the sidewalk was her bed, her clothes were not fancy, she did not live in a mansion,
all her belongings was in a little crocus bag ; I got caught in the same trap and treated her like she was a ghost. Today we talk and sometimes I stretch out my hands to her when I can . I am not saying that we should go out there and be friends with everyone out there, because, there are some who are pretty much messed up. The homeless, less fortunate or those who are different need someone to talk too. It does not take much to say a word of kindness or hello. Some people need to think about how they would feel if the tables were turned and maybe then empathy will overflow. These acts of kindness and emotions of empathy will not take away from us; yet, some of us are guilty. Some of us are so wrapped up in our own lives that we do not hear or see the hurting. These are human beings like us, born in God's image. Maybe on their life's journey something happened that placed them in the state they are or they are just born that way ;but that is no excuse to exclude them and treat them like they are invisible. Some people fail to realize that no one is immune to life's setbacks or failures. Life is treacherous. One never knows what will happen in the next second so it is pivitol that bowels of empathy be opened and shared with those we come in contact with because one never knows. People wait when a catastrophy happens; but by then it's too late. One would think that Columbine and Virginia Tech heightened our awareness but the circumstances surrounding the events seem to be long forgotten. God is still working on me

Sunday, June 24, 2007

It's Summertime

My plans for the summer a pretty much the same year after year.
The kids will be out of school soon and it summer camp and summer Youth Employment.
I'll go about my normal routine which is work. Thank God for work. Thank God for life. Hopefully, next summer we will all take that long extended vacation to Disneyland or the Caribbean.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Reassurance


God loves us so much that he sent his son to free us from the bondage of sin. God is always willing and capable.God's grace is sufficient God is love. No matter the situation, God is always in control. As we go about our lives we should always seek to encourage others. Iron sharpens iron. One never knows the difference he or she makes just by letting others know that they matter and have lots to offer. So as you run along be an encouragement to someone.You will be happy and they will be happy. Encourage others to do their best and live a life that is full and free knowing that with God all things are possible

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Time for Change


Goodbyes are never easy. Now that Spring is here, there's never been a more opportune time, than now to do some house cleaning; whether its the closet, basement, or mind, there is no better time than now to do away with cluttered stuff that's just lying around.

Relationships can be one of the hardest situations to part with; yet, it is something that needs to be dealt with. Walking away after getting so attached is like a major loss which makes life unbearable at times. So many memories to deal with. Usually it's just feels so hopeless. The experience can usually be traumatic. Sort of like losing apart of one's self.

God's grace is sufficient With God's help one can overcome. God never gives us more than we can bear. Things happen for the best most of the times. Maybe after the break-up one can now focus on that something that one placed on a back burner for some time. Now should be a time of self reflection and evaluation, A time to gain a different prespective and to make decisions necessary for growth and development. Time does heal all wounds. TIME and faith in God! It's true breaking up is hard but hey, it is for the best and we all have to experience it at sometime or another. God is able and saw me through and he can do the same for you.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Can't a Girl Experiment?


What do matches and wooden planks produce? Oh, you are so brilliant! Ashes is Correcto! I knew that; but, I was inquisitive, young, and senseless, caught up in a world of curiosity. I burnt the house down! Well, I was playing under a wooden house with matches and paper. Oh! I was having the time of my life. Until.....


Surprised footsteps ruined that moment for me. It sent me scampering, leaving a lighted paper with matches behind. Those wooden planks must have been rotted to the core because before I knew it the whole house was engulfed in flames. Nothing was salvaged. It happened so quickly. Everything was lost. I did not get embraced for having survived. Oh no! that night there was a weeping and a wailing. Those blows did not warrant anything, because I still make dumb mistakes. No, I am not burning down houses. I despise cigarettes. Well, God is still working. All the greats experimented, why should n't I?

The goat ate my whip


BackOff"

My earliest recollection of one of my dumbest moments was the time I tied a goat with a vine and the goat ate its way to freedom never to be seen again. I wonder what happened to the poor sap; maybe wild animals made a meal out of him.


Children are expected to make mistakes; yet, this is no excuse for me not utilizing my common sense whatever sense I had at the time. It never really occurred to me that the very animal I acknowledged as being dumb turned out to be smart after all. After my chastisement, I vowed , that if I ever found that goat well, I would turn him into goat soup for sure. I got the beating of my life and vowed that this would be and was my last beating. So, news flash to all those men who believe that wives, girlfriends or significant others need a beating now and then, think again because the goat ate my whip

Men beat up women because women tolerate it or maybe men are still trapped in the cycle of abuse or maybe beating up women makes them feel powerful. Regardless of the reasons, there is no excuse. At the start of every relationship it's always a good idea to lay the cards on the table. Sort of like nipping it in the bud. You cannot be too much in love to forget this important tidbit. After all its your life. If women tell men what they won't and will not tolerate ,then battered women will be unheard of. I got too much blows as a child for me to allow some man who come from nowhere and going nowhere to beat me up. Oh no honey! If you value your life you won't lay a finger on me. I am no body's child, me pappy is 6+ feet under. So go punch a pillow already

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