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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Rebellous Teen

It's 6 p.m. the phone rings. My 12 year old teacher is on the line. Your child is not doing homework, disrupts the class, and is being disrespectful. please come down call the school and ask for me at ext 331. This is like the third time I get those types of call. I speak to my child to find out what's going on and the story goes like this. I was just sitting there and some kids were goofing around and the teacher says she's calling my parents. I am pissed; Getting a call from the principal’s office is one of the last calls I want to receive during the day. Finding out that my child has been misbehaving and now has to stay in detention is not the type of news I want to hear. To receive these phone calls on a frequent basis causes me to become over emotional and I feel like a failure and I want to ground that child for life. So, I speak to friends ask how their family relationships are as far as the children are concerned and they explain that they've been in a similar situations. They even advise me that before I see my child I should take a deep breath, count to ten and get ready to talk to my child about the problems going on. They say, I should have a cool head and never approach the child in anger.

Anger and embarrassment as a parent is the type of reaction I have when I continually get these types of phone calls. I don't know the reason why my child continues to get into trouble and what I can do to correct the situation.I speak with my child to find out what’s happening to cause this behavior. I ask whether she is getting along with other students? Is she being bullied by someone? Does she understand the work? Is she and the teacher getting along? All I get is no.The lectures on the value of an Education is not appealing. I mention that no one wants to be at the bottom; everyone wants to be at the top. The child is not listening.

I'm aware that many times situations arise when there is a conflict with another person. I don't know if she is bored in class or not getting the attention that she needs. I signed my child into detention so she will get her work done there as the teacher says. I come home and felt like detention was a bad idea. I'm at whits end because I just don't know what to do

I know that the teenage years are the most difficult; yet still this is no excuse for such behavior. What else should a parent do when teenagers exhibit such behavior. If I ram my fist down her throat, there will be an outburst and the proclamation will read "child abuse". How can a parent bring up a child to be productive in society if controls are taken away from the parents thereby limiting the authority of parents as to how they should implement discipline. Every child is different and the type of discipline administered does not work for all. What is a parent suppose to do when time outs and taking away of toys and privileges don't work? How can we win the battle as parents?

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