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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Spoiled Child

Temper, tantrums, crying: There is nothing more distressing than hearing your child cry over something that he or she wants, but you have told your child that he or she can’t have it. I have experienced this type of behavior from my child several times. These days children are so smart; if you let your guard down they'll get away with just about anything. Children approach me while I am on the telephone because I am distracted. Many times it feels so easy to give in and allow them to have the item; so I can have peace and quiet. However, I discovered that when I give in to my child’s demands over time, my child was throwing tantrums when she did not get her own way and was turning into a spoiled child. I don't blame her for this because by giving in after I said no, led my child to learn that she can get anything she wants by pushing my buttons and I really had to rethink my actions.

The first step to ensuring that a child does not become “The Spoiled One” is to be consistent in what you tell him or her. Teach your child that when you say ‘no’ you mean ‘no’. Even if your child screams at the top of his or her lungs for hours on end, by not giving in you teach your child that there is no reward for the wrong behavior and you are not going to back down.

The second step to ensuring that your child does not become “The Spoiled One” is to not bribe your child into performing the right behavior. Your child may learn that unless he or she is given something, he or she does not have to behave. Rewarding your child for the correct behavior after he or she has done it of his or her own free will is all right.

The third step to ensuring that your child does not become “The Spoiled one” is to not give your child everything he or she wants even if you have the money for it. Teach your child to learn how to live without things and to respect what he or she has.

Learning how to be firm and consistent with your child can be difficult, but over time it will get easier.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Child Discipline

Children can be easily embarrassed in public especially if they are disciplined when their friends are present. I am guilty and have discipline my child in public. I just lost it.
What I learn though is that when a child behaves badly in public, disciplining him or her in public may make the situation worse. As a parent, I have learned the errors of my ways. Effective discipline works and learning to handle bad behavior properly has helped my child to create proper respect for me.

Yelling may bring unwanted attention to a child. This unwanted attention can lead a child to believe that you don’t care about him or her because you embarrass your child. Or your child can continue to perform the unwanted action to gain the attention. Very often, I see parents embarassing themselves as they embarass their children. When I take my child out. Even before we leave the house I explain the kind of behavior I expect and what will ensue should my words fall on deaf ears.

Creating a way to let a child know that the behavior is unacceptable quietly can get the attention of your child quicker. A facial look or a hand signal can offer the warning signal that your child may need to remind him or her to behave. The behavior can then be discussed in private and appropriate actions can be taken.

Children may also draw attention to themselves in public by throwing a temper tantrum, because they are not getting their way. Many people do not appreciate a screaming child, but as a parent, not giving in to the demands of your child will minimize public outbursts in the future. Taking your child directly to the car to remove him or her from the public place will allow your child to settle down and the appropriate discussions to take place before re-entering the public place.

Recognizing that a child is an individual who will do things wrong is important. However, it is also important to teach that child that he or she is respected and will not be embarassed in public. Or, that you expect respect by not being embarrassed in public by misbehaving.

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