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Friday, July 30, 2010

How To Recover When A Guy Doesnt Love You Back

 

 

 Heartbreak Tip

          It’s a situation that happens to nearly every woman at some point in her single life. She falls in love with a guy who doesn’t return her feelings. This can be one of the most painful experiences for her and she may feel that she’ll never be able to recover from it. This is not meant to belittle your grief at this pain, however, you CAN move past this and on to happier relationships in your life.

The first step in recovering from a situation such as this is deciding you WANT to move on. That’s right; you have to WANT to get over your feelings before anything will ever help you. If you’ve decided to wallow in your own personal pity party, nothing is ever going to make you happy again. That’s because you’ve made the decision to be miserable for the rest of your life because this ONE MAN did not love you back. Please think about that for a minute. For just 60 seconds, consider what you’ve decided to do and ask yourself how much sense that actually makes.

Now, if you’re thinking more clearly and have decided to push forward in your recovery, your next step is to just accept that this isn’t going to happen. Chances are you’ve already tried all of your feminine wiles on the object of your affection without any results. If getting your body in great shape, something new with your hair, new makeup techniques, and making sure he sees your new and improved body in the hot new bikini you bought all went unnoticed, it’s time to move on. The really awful part is when you run into him with a date that is not nearly as pretty as you, yet he seems to be totally enamored of her. Don’t wonder what’s wrong with you. Just accept that he has tastes in women that you do not match, for whatever reason.

Once you’ve gone through the above steps, don’t avoid people. Your friends will want to be there for you now and help you in whatever way they can. Let them do this. It will make all of you feel much better. Go out with them and, when you’re ready, let them introduce you to guys they just “know” will be perfect for you. Who knows? One of them just may REALLY BE your perfect guy!

 

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Thursday, July 29, 2010

How Soon Is Too Soon Or Not Soon Enough

How Soon Is Too Soon Or Not Soon Enough To Have Sex

 

 

Inevitably, when you are part of the dating world, you will need to face the question of just how soon you should let things move to a more physically intimate level. This is just a gentle and polite way of saying you will need to decide when the time is right to have sex. While this should be a rather simple thing to figure out, especially for adults, it can actually be a bit tricky.

First of all, even when you’re well past the age of consent and, possibly, heading into early middle age, there’s still a right time and a wrong time to move forward sexually. It really doesn’t matter how enlightened people in the 21st century think they are, men still have a certain way of viewing a woman who will jump right into bed with them, no questions asked. If this describes you, don’t be too surprised if a lot of guys are not calling you back. When you allow yourself to be used in this fashion, chances are you’re giving in MUCH too soon and these guys are just having a quick release with you.

This brings us to the First Date Rule. Agreeing to sex on the first date is a huge no-no. The only way that this is acceptable and probably not damaging to the budding relationship and your reputation is if the man is someone you’ve known for a very long time and friendship has transitioned into romance. In all other instances, the first date is completely too soon for such intimacy. Kiss all you want, but keep it on simmer.

Are you hoping to find that the second date is a more acceptable time frame to have sex for the first time with someone new? You should hear the Second Date Rule if you truly believe that. The second date is also too soon to hop into bed. Keep in mind that this is particularly true if you’re just getting to know someone new. Two dates is not enough time to know someone THAT well.

While many people seem to adhere to the Third Date Rule, that may still be a bit too soon if you really want this to turn into something wonderful. Too many people tend to do things backwards in relationships. For example, they meet at a bar or a party or wherever, spend some time drinking and talking, head back to his place or hers, and then have sex. Most of the time, they don’t even know each other’s last names. Also, these encounters typically turn into one night stands, which are never favorable when it comes to having a true relationship.

If a real relationship is what you’re trying to find, give it some time before you give into your hormonal desires. Let the connection between the two of you grow and take time to really get to know each other. No, it doesn’t have to be YEARS, but at least give it time to feel 100 percent right in every way. There’s much more of a chance for a successful relationship then.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

How To Tell If A First Date Should Be Your ONLY Date

 First Date Should Be Your ONLY Date?

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A lot of women worry about what to expect on a first date with a new guy. While everyone has different ideas about what they want on a date as well as in a relationship, there are a few signs that can show you whether or not a particular man is a “keeper.” They’re not very hard to spot either.

To begin with, pay close attention to this man’s choice of dating venue. A first date should have some criteria that need to be met. The place should be public, conservative, and casual. However, if this man seemed to have put no thought whatsoever into the location of your very first date together, either he’s not very imaginative or you just don’t matter that much to him. Completing the date will probably cue you in on which it is and then you can make your decision from there.

Confidence is something that everyone needs but a man who can make decisions and not second guess himself constantly is certainly preferable to a man who leaves everything up to you. At least that’s true in most cases unless you like to be the one always running the show. If you don’t mind a man who has little to no confidence, at least you won’t be going into this blind.

Pay attention to those little things. Does he walk ahead of you a few feet almost like he’s not with you when you’re in public? When you go out to eat, does he just order for you without asking what you want first? Does he leer at you when having a conversation? None of these things point to a promising relationship unless you enjoy being controlled and ogled all the time.

Everyone knows how important communication is in a relationship. However, if his idea of communicating is talking only about himself and never listening to anything you have to say, you may want to move on. He MIGHT be trying to impress you but chances are he really is just more interested in himself than he is in you.

Courtesy is something else that’s important when dating. If you’re dating a guy who pulls out your chair for you, opens doors for you, and more, that’s wonderful. However, how does he treat others in front of you? Does he yell abusively at the waiters? Is he constantly saying awful things about his ex? Does he say ugly things about his friends as soon as they’re out of hearing range? Is he nasty about YOUR friends when they’re not around? All of these things will let you know just what you may expect from him eventually. Men who need to show off their manliness by mistreating others aren’t really men at all.

When you look at all of these things either separately or collectively, you will know just what sort of man you seem to have landed. Only you can decide whether he’s worth it to you or not.

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Dumped Boyfriend - You Are Not Dead In The Water

 

 

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If you've been a dumped boyfriend, I'm sure you're wondering what in the heck you should do now to get over your ex. You are more than likely feeling anger, resentment and hurt over the situation, but hey, you're a guy, so you don't want anyone to know.

First off, that's the wrong approach. There's nothing wrong with hurting when someone you love is no longer in your life, I'm not saying you should break down and sob in front of your friends, but unless your friends are complete jackasses they should be able to support you while you're going through this (and if not, maybe your first step should be to get some new friends).

Sometimes in life it's just as important to know what not to do as it is to know what to do. When you're trying to move past a tough breakup there are many things you just don't want to do, you'll only keep your own hurt alive that much longer and you can hurt other people too.

For example, don't hook up with other women. I know, this can help your wounded pride heal and it may take away a little of the hurt for a little while, but what about the other woman? Does she really deserve to be treated like a replacement for your ex? What has she ever done to you? No, it's best to just resist the urge to sleep with other women at least for a little while until you can do it for the right reasons and not just to build up your own ego, ease your hurt, or get back at your ex.

Another thing you need to avoid is the dumb macho posturing of going out and getting drunk. What does that really accomplish, it's such a juvenile thing to do. If you want to go out with your friends and have some fun to keep your mind off of things, than go for it. But if you want to go out and drink yourself into a stupor either avoid doing that or at least stay home where you won't make a fool of yourself and where you can't hurt anyone.

Instead of engaging in these destructive behaviors when you're a dumped boyfriend, try doing something positive that won't leave you feeling, and looking, like a jerk. How about joining a gym and getting in shape? Why not take a class or go back to school? Go visit your mother? It doesn't matter what it is for you, as long as what ever activities you choose to participate in are healthy and will eventually move you forward in life. They can help you take your mind off your ex, and your anger, and concentrate on something that is worthwhile, a two for one!

Avoiding the destructive behaviors after a breakup and improving the man you are will enable you to move forward in a positive way and will greatly increase the odds that your next relationship will work out better than your last one did. So if you're a dumped boyfriend take stock of the man you are and make improvements while you are healing over your breakup.

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Dating Singles Online Has Many Advantages

 

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Now that the internet is so popular, many things have changed. We keep in touch with our friends and family through Facebook and Twitter. We send an email now instead of posting a letter. Most of us know people all over the world yet don't know many of our neighbors. In this atmosphere, it's easy to see why dating singles online is also the way couples get together these days.

One advantage to dating singles online is the access to a great many single people all at once. There are many online dating sites with thousands of potential dates for you." You aren't limited to meeting people through friends and family – and let's face it, how often does that really work out?

The best thing is you don't have to get all dolled up and travel to a club to find a new person to date. That scene is fine to go out with friends but it's not and never was the best place to find someone new.

Another advantage is that you can learn a little bit about that person before you ever approach them. All the dating sites have profile features, some very detailed, and people can include pictures and even videos. You can search through the sites based on all sorts of criteria, too. Do you want to meet certain age people? Perhaps you only want to meet those within 50 miles of your location or maybe you want to meet someone who isn't nearby. The choices are endless.

The nice part about this is you don't have to be so concerned with how this person will react or the fear of rejection. It's tough to get hurt feelings by someone not returning an email. It's a lot harder to approach someone in person and have them turn you down.

You can get to know the people you are interested in by chatting with them through email and instant messagers before you have to actually meet them in person. You can take as long as you'd like to be comfortable enough to move beyond the computer to phone calls or meeting face-to-face.

Some people, who aren't comfortable with the new technologies, will say that meeting someone you met over the internet is dangerous. That seems silly, though. How is it safer to go on a date with some person that gave you their number Friday night at the bar? Besides, as said before, it's a great thing to work up to a date, anyway.

Start by exchanging emails and asking questions about the other person. Figure out if you sound compatible before you further the contact. From there, work up to instant messagers and then phone calls. Taking the time to really get to know each other will be better in the long run then simply going out on a date after a dance in a club. You'll know the person a lot better.

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Friday, July 23, 2010

How To Save A Marriage

 

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My marriage has been on the rocks for some time now and I just did some research on how to save my marriage. The first thing I learned was we both need to communicate better. I am so excited, this shouldn't be too hard, we used to talk about everything all the time. I am going to start as soon as we both get home from work. I will suggest that we cook dinner together, open that nice bottle of wine we bought on that vacation we took a couple of years ago, and start talking while we eat our dinner.

I found that I have to be honest with myself, that no matter how much I want my marriage to work I may not be able to save it. My husband needs to want to save it and be willing to work on things, too. No matter how much I may want to, I can't do it all by myself and I can't force him to want to work on it if he really does not want to.

I also realize that we don't have a clue on how to communicate. Sure, we talk, but we don't really 'get' the other person most of the time. So often when I try to tell him how I feel he gets mad and thinks I'm attacking him. I'm just trying to express my worries, concerns or fears but he seems to take it as a personal attack.

I will suggest we talk about why we haven't been getting along lately, just see what's going on. I know this is going to take some work on both our parts but I want to save my marriage.

Hopefully if this dinner is a success we can start to figure out how to spend more quality time together. I think we should have a date every now and then. We get so caught up in the day to day managing of this household we forget we need to connect with each other in meaningful ways. I want to feel in love again and stop feeling like we are just roommates. Maybe if we both agree that our marriage needs work and then agree to try to fix what is wrong, we can find our happily ever after, after all.

Then there is the subject of sex. The research I did said that if you and your partner have not had sex for a while then one of you needs to take the initiative and seduce the other. I went out today and bought some new lingerie and some new candles. I had time to get them into the bedroom and set up already. After dinner I will excuse myself and go put on the lingerie and light the candles. Ooh, I will put on some romantic music, too. Then I will take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom for an unforgettable night.

I am going to make these little changes starting tonight and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to save my marriage.

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

How To Deal With A Break Up - Simple Quick Tips

 

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If you're still smarting from a painful breakup, take heart, there is help on how to deal with a break up. Following a few simple tips can help you move through the healing process much more quickly and without doing anything that you'll regret once the dust settles.

The first thing you need to do is to stop and think. Give yourself a week or two and just go easy on yourself. Don't worry too much if your bathroom needs to be cleaned or if your hair needs to be cut, just take things slow and allow yourself to process everything that has happened. Try to continue to do things that will create problems in the future if they're not taken care of, such as going to work or paying your bills on time, but anything that won't create a problem if you ignore it for a little while... ignore it.

Just make sure that this period of 'mourning' is a limited time offer. Only allow yourself a week or two and then kick yourself (or have a friend do it) in the behind and get going. No one is saying that after a few weeks you should be over it, you won't be, but a few weeks is enough time to process everything and then it's time to get going and start living your life to the fullest again while you continue to heal.

Step two is to make sure that you still take care of you. Now that you've had some down time, it's time to rejoin the human race. Make sure that even though you still feel down that you take the time to eat properly and get enough exercise and sleep. This is not the time to start drinking or sleeping around. Those things may offer a little short term relief but remember at the beginning of the article I said that I'd help you move on with your dignity intact, doing either of these things won't help your dignity at all, so don't do them.

Step three of how to deal with a break up is to make sure that you accept that the relationship is done and avoid your ex at all costs. If the two of you move in the same social circles and you see them when you're out with friends, don't talk to them. You don't have to be rude, a nod will be OK, but don't try to engage them. This is a vulnerable time for you and if you have had a drink or two you can really say or do something that you'll regret. Just steer clear until you're stronger.

And the last thing to keep in mind is that you will have to just give it time. The amount of time it takes for you to move on to the point where you're happy, smiling and looking forward to the future will depend on many factors, every one is different. Just hang in there until you reach that point and even though it may seem impossible now remember that you will reach that point one day. These tips will help you learn how to deal with a break up so your dignity isn't compromised and you won't have a lot of baggage to carry into the next relationship.

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Monday, July 19, 2010

Hurting Over A Breakup Relationship Help

 

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If you are hurting over a breakup relationship help is not as hard to find as you might think. It starts with you. If you feel you have the strength to tackle the way you feel by yourself then do so. Step back and assess your situation. Ask yourself how you really feel and be honest with yourself. Breaking up with someone is tough and you need all the strength you can muster to get through it.

First, and this is very important, let yourself feel the pain. Go ahead and wallow in it for a while. But only for a while. You need this very important step. Stay in bed for a day and cry your eyes out. Go get that pint of ice cream (or gallon) and sit in front of the TV and eat it til you can't eat anymore. Punch a pillow. Throw marshmallows as hard as you can into the sink. Do whatever you need to do to constructively deal with your pain. Believe this or not doing this is actually setting the foundation for the next weeks and months to come as you settle back into single life.

Dealing with your pain the right way can be empowering. That that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know you have heard that saying and it is true. Like I said, if you are hurting over a breakup relationship help yourself. You will come out the other side a better, more confident person.

Now, what do you do after your day of wallowing? Wallow no more! Onward and upward! You are probably better off without the one you broke up with anyway. Seriously, take a good long look at your life and start to make some plans. Having a goal in mind will help keep you focused. Make a list of things you want to do. Take a vacation, go back to school, reconnect with old friends or heck, clean out that closet you have been meaning to get to. Organize your thoughts and your life and the rest will follow.

I believe, like many people do, that everything happens for a reason. Something good always come out of a bad situation. You just have to wait for it. Don't go looking for it, it will come to you. I also believe that everything we go through is a learning experience and you take what you learn from one experience to the next. Some call this learning from our mistakes. I like to think it's a little more spiritual than that. So you just went through a breakup, that person wasn't 'the one' anyway and you knew it from the start. So you take what you learned from that experience and tuck it away. Now you have that information to fall back on when your 'the one' makes their way into your life.

Once again, take a day and wallow then make a plan, set some goals, and organize things. Then you won't need any more hurting over a breakup relationship help.

 

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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Bad Break Up - Hurts - But Can Be Positive

 

The first thing you will want to do after a bad break up is to let yourself feel the hurt." Don't bottle it up or push it down and pretend everything is ok. We all know everything is not OK and it is not healthy to pretend you are not hurting. If you ignore it, it will not go away and someday will come back to bite you in the butt.

Now, I don't mean you have to go off the deep-end either. Never threaten your ex. Nothing good will ever come of threatening someone. There are healthy ways to handle what you are feeling.

You must realize that you will not be over your ex tomorrow. Getting over someone takes time. Make the time constructive and treat it as a time to learn new relationship skills. You will not only be healthier for yourself but also for the next time around with someone new.

So, feel your pain, but do not let it consume you. Put a time limit on it. When the anger starts to surface, and it will, trust me, there are safe ways to let it out where no one gets hurt.

If you still have a picture of your ex, draw a target on it and tack it up on the wall. Go buy some marshmallows and stand about ten feet from the tacked up picture. Throw the marshmallows one at a time, as hard as you can at the picture while telling him/her off. Scream at the top of your lungs, just get everything out. There are about forty-five marshmallows in a bag, throw each one and when you are done, yeah, you will have a mess but you will feel a lot better. You might even be laughing when you are finished. Ha, what bad break up?

There is something to be said for being able to laugh. If you can laugh, whatever the trouble is, it probably isn't really that bad. You know you can handle anything at this point. You will survive and realize that it was not the end of your world, just the end of a relationship that had been bad for a long time.

If you have given yourself plenty of time (minimum six months) to get your world put back together then consider dating again. The next time you find someone you would like to get to know better, take it slow. What the heck, even play hard to get. You are stronger now and know more about what you need and want in a new relationship.

Do not give up on love, love is the most beautiful thing to be in, in the whole world. Just take your time getting into a new relationship. Talk to whoever you are considering dating and let them know that your previous relationship ended badly and you are going to do whatever it takes to not let yourself get hurt again and avoid another bad break up.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

How To Mend A Broken Relationship

 

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There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.

If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.

If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.

If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.

I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.

How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.

Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.

 

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Monday, July 12, 2010

Relationship Help

 

 

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Do I Need Relationship Help

If you are asking yourself and anybody else who will listen, "Do I need relationship help?", then my response would be, if you are asking the question the answer is probably yes. No relationship is perfect and neither are the two individuals trying to make a go of it. Each one involved brings their own unique set of qualities to a relationship, good and bad.

Since we are all products of how we were raised, if your parents had a good relationship, respected each other, listened to one another and didn't fight about everything under the sun then you were shown your entire young life how to have a good relationship. Your parents gave you the tools you need to have a successful, loving relationship and you probably didn't even realize it.

On the other hand, if your parents didn't have a good relationship, disrespected each other, ignored each other and fought about anything and everything, they gave you a whole different set of tools. If this is the case, it is understandable why you are asking, "Do I need relationship help?"

If you do find yourself asking this question, good for you, this is a positive step believe it or not. It means you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve on yourself and become a true partner in your relationship. If you and your significant other are on the same page then you can both grow together and no one gets left behind.

So, where do you find the information you need to improve a relationship? There are several places you can look.

 

  • 1. Self-help books - a good resource for insight into what it takes to have a good relationship. You don't get any feedback from a book so there will be some trial and error to find what works for your relationship and what doesn't.
  • 2. Counseling - a third party to listen and offer advice when the problems seem too big to handle on your own. You will get plenty of feedback here so be prepared.
  • 3. Your parents - They can give you a wealth of information on how they managed to stay married for as long as they have. Just remember, everyone is different and so is every situation. Don't try to be your parents, be yourself. Don't get too specific, try to talk in general terms when involving your parents, they worry about you enough.
  • 4. Your significant other - Yes, yes and yes! Who else would you talk to about YOUR relationship? You would think this would be a no-brainer but you would be surprised at how may people start to see their partner as their enemy, instead of their ally, when things aren't going well.

So if you are insightful enough to ask, "Do I need relationship help?" then also be open to trying every single suggestion or recommendation given to you to help improve your relationship. It will definitely be worth all the hard work.

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Saturday, July 10, 2010

Signs a man is in love

 

 

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You know what I do when I need love help? I think about the person I'm in love with and then list the reasons why I am in love with them. I think about the kinds of things they bring to my life like joy, passion, and romance, just to name of few. I also think about what I can do to make them happy. There is nothing better in the world than to be able to make someone else smile and if you are already in love with that person then that makes it even better.

Love is a wonderful emotion isn't it? When your are in love with someone, it's as if you can do anything, there is nothing you are not capable of. You are on Cloud 9 and everything they do is wonderful, they can do no wrong.

There are so many different ways to express your love; cards, flowers, love letters, an intimate candlelit dinner under the stars, the possibilities are endless. My favorite way to show someone I love them is the candlelit dinner. To me, taking the time and preparing a perfect meal then presenting it in the perfect setting says a lot to the person you have prepared it for. It makes them feel special and loved.

When I need love help, I just start with a little planning. I find a recipe for something I know they like and match it with a good wine. Set the perfect table with a table cloth, cloth napkins and candles as the centerpiece. The meal is served on fine china and I have soft, romantic music playing. It's as if we are the only two people in the world. Nice.

I do like to write love letters and poems also. Love letter writing is a dying art, I think letter writing in general is a dying art due to the invention of the internet and cell phones with email, texting and whatever.

It's a shame that those first feelings of love you experience don't last, life always seems to get in the way. Though, now that I think about it, I suppose those first feelings are replaced with others, like security or contentment. Some people might think that being content in a relationship is a bit boring but if you are with the right person contentment is a plus.

It means you are comfortable. You don't have to try to impress the other person or try to win them over. You already have and they have accepted you for who you are, unconditionally. What more could you ask for?

Here is a good test, if you are in a relationship and you can sit in the same room, in silence, for more than 10 minutes without feeling like you should say something, that probably means you are content in that relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.

So on occasion, if you need love help like I need love help, just try some of these suggestions and I bet you'll find you'll be content in no time.

 

Friday, July 9, 2010

what to do when first meeting someone from online dating

 

Now days, the process of finding a partner can be streamlined via the technology of the Internet. Online dating has become trendy and readily accepted by most people as a way to save time and effort in looking for someone to build a relationship with.

Not too long ago this method was new and most people were skeptical about using it as a viable technique for meeting someone. And the truth is, at the start it was more difficult to find the ‘right’ sort of person through online dating. The simple fact is that like anything else, it’s a numbers thing. With more and more people signing up to these programs it becomes much more likely that the perfect person is ‘online’.

So how about you – is online dating right for you? Have you considered it at all?

The process is rather easy and fun. Nowadays you can find online dating sites that are specially designed for target groups. There are sites for seniors, sites for ethnic groups of all sorts, sites for swingers, and even sites designed to help those seeking a wealthy partner. Plus, there are sites geared toward helping people that are already involved in a relationship meet others in the same situation. The reality is that you can probably find an online dating site that seems customized to meeting your particular needs.

By joining a site that is targeted to a specific group your chances of meeting the right person are already increased. After all, you will start out the relationship with something major in common. From there your profile will help determine a match for you. That’s why it’s important to be honest in your profile. This helps to insure that your match will be worthwhile.

But it is not advisable to give out too much personal information online. That is, things like your address etc. , at least until you have developed some level of trust with the person.

Along those lines is insuring your own safety when you meet a new person for the first time. It is advisable to meet in a public place. That offers a level of safety for you over meeting someone at his or her home or a hotel room. It’s also important to let other people know about your planned meeting/first date. And ideally, your first date will be planned to be a short one. This could mean meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink. That provides a time frame that you can opt to keep short or if things are going well, you can expand.

Keep in mind that during a first time meeting you will want to have an atmosphere conducive to talking. This makes the idea of meeting at a coffee shop perfect. If you decide to meet for a drink it’s probably better to meet at a restaurant rather than a bar or pub. The reason being that a restaurant will be quieter.

It’s been said that one in four to five modern relationships get their start from online dating. In years to come that ratio is likely to drastically increase. So what about you – is online dating in your future?

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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Why People Stay In Bad Relationships

 

Teenage Online Dating - Parent Be Aware

The world has gone digital, today it's estimated that more people will meet someone to date online than off. This trend is also showing up with teenage online dating. Many adults would argue that kids are in school and have part time jobs so they have many chances to meet someone to date right in their own backyard. Whether you think online dating is appropriate for your teen or not, the reality is that your teen is very likely already meeting new people online so it might be good if you monitor their actions so you can help keep them safe.

Of course, not matter what your age, the most obvious benefits to online dating is the opportunity to meet people that you may never have had the opportunity to meet in real life. You can meet people from virtually anywhere in the world and most any cultural background. Unfortunately the downside is that you don't really know who you're talking to. That 16 year old from the next town could actually be a 40 year old from your neighborhood. That's why it's so important to teach your teen how to be safe online.

Here are some safety tips to instill in your teenager, and this is the time to not worry about repeating yourself:

1. Remind them that they don't really know who they're talking to so they shouldn't give out any personal information such as their address, phone number, name of their school, what kind of car they drive, the name of the mall they hang out in, etc. Any or all of this seemingly innocent information could be all the information a predator needs to come into physical contact with your teen.

Here's a case in point: there was a story not long ago about a kid chatting with another 'kid' online. He was pretty careful to not give away too much information but he did mention the name of his school. In another conversation, weeks later, he mentioned that he and some friends were going to the local mall. The 'kid' he was chatting with online was an undercover police officer and he used this 'innocent' information to track down the kid he'd been chatting with when he was at the mall with his friends.

Talk about scary, it's a good thing that it was a police officer and not a predator. That teen learned a very valuable lesson that day, and you need to tell your kids about this story so they can too... a predator can use the most innocent of information to locate them.

2. If your teen and their online friend think that they'd like to meet, try to talk with them on the phone first, this way it will be much harder to lie to you about who they really are and how old they are. Also never, ever, let them meet anyone from online until they tell you about it. Once they've told you about it, the two of you can figure out the safest way to meet their new online friend (hint, it won't be anywhere near your home or school).

Whether we like it or not, teenage online dating is most likely here to stay. Instead of fighting it (which is likely to just encourage your kids to do it behind your back) talk to your teen about the good and the bad of online dating. Make sure they know how to protect themselves and let them know that they can always come to you if they feel uncomfortable about something that has happened.

 

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Monday, July 5, 2010

Questions You Should Ask Your Boyfriend

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5 Questions You Should Ask Your Boyfriend

The longer you are with someone, the more you learn about who they are as a person. It is important for couples to be honest with each other, working to understand as much as possible about one another. While certain topics may come up in general conversation, others need to be purposefully brought up. There are some things that you need to make sure that you ask your boyfriend. These are just some of the questions you should ask your boyfriend before you get serious about your relationship.

What Are Your Goals?

It is important for women to find a man that is goal oriented and driven. It is also important for a woman to understand whether or not her boyfriend's goals affect their relationship. Talk to your boyfriend about his goals. These goals can be societal driven, monetarily driven, or career driven. These goals may make you boyfriend more appealing to you, or may make you rethink your relationship.

Do You Want Kids?

It is important for couples to be as honest with each other as possible. If you want to have kids at some point in your life, you need to let your partner know. Likewise, if they do not plan on having kids in their future, they should let you know. Ask your boyfriend about kids to understand if you are on the same page, as far as children are concerned.

What Do You Think About Marriage?

There are some men that are afraid of commitment, working to avoid an actual marriage. There are others who are seeking out marriage, working to marry someone as quickly as possible. Talk to your boyfriend about marriage in general to understand what their goals are, as far as marriage is concerned. If your goals are opposite of one another, the relationship may not work.

Have You Been Tested?

Partners need to be honest with one another in regards to their sexual health. You need to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend about your sexual past, and vice versa. Ask your boyfriend if he has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases; if he says no, let him know that there will be no sexual relations until he is tested. While it is important to be understanding, it is more important to be safe.

What Do You Like About Me?

This simple and somewhat self-absorbed question can actually do wonders for your relationship. Asking your boyfriend what he likes about you will remind the both of you why you are with one another, helping to strengthen the relationship.

It is important for you to understand where your boyfriend has been, and where your boyfriend is going. Take the time to work these various questions into your conversations. They will help you to understand your boyfriend's thoughts on topics that may be important and crucial to the success of your relationship. If you want to be sure that you completely understand your boyfriend and your relationship; ask your boyfriend the above questions.

 

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Friday, July 2, 2010

When You Or Your Partner is Bisexual

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Are You Or Your Partner Bisexual?

It seems that in today’s world people are freer than ever to be who they really are and to admit to having thoughts and desires that not so long age were considered taboo by many. Bisexuality is now a lifestyle that many people freely enjoy. But when it comes to meeting and dating a partner that is bisexual one can only wonder if it is possible to ever completely satisfy his or her needs. And if you happen to be the partner with these desires you may find that you are asked to make some unpleasant choices if a relationship is to survive and thrive. The truth is that being attracted to both sexes is very common. But there are misunderstandings about what this really means. An attraction does not always mean that an individual is going to act on that desire. In fact, one may never do anything more than simply ‘admire’ or ‘love from a distance’ when it comes to members of the same sex.

While some individuals may be secretly holding themselves back from acting on this same sex attraction for fear of what others may think, etc., others are not looking for a real same sex relationship, although they do not deny the attraction. In fact, some individuals will simply enjoy extremely close same sex friendships in order to satisfy this type of attraction. But if you are dating someone that confirms they are bisexual, then you should be prepared to accept the fact that he or she will not be completely fulfilled if their only sexual encounters happen with you. However, it is important to note that most bisexuals do enjoy being involved in a committed and long lasting relationship. The ground rules just may be a little different than what is considered to be the ‘norm’ for other relationships. Some couples adjust to this difference quite easily. In fact, many swingers are bisexuals.

Some people are simply bi-curious. They are curious about the idea of having sexual relations with members of the same sex. In which case, these individuals are not confirmed bisexuals, but experimentation may reveal that bisexuality is their lifestyle of choice. Because bisexuality is becoming increasingly accepted as a way of life, finding accepting partners is also becoming easier. In fact, now days there are countless forums, chat rooms, social networking sites and even online dating sites that are geared specifically toward bisexual audiences.

If you happen to have bisexual tendencies and you meet a partner that you want to have a lasting relationship with – it is very important that you share this information with him or her. After all, at some point you will probably want to be with a different partner in order to satisfy your sexual desires. If you have kept this part of you a secret, it is likely that over time it could ruin your relationship. On the other hand, if you share this attraction with a new partner chances are that he or she will accept your bisexuality as just another part of you and who you are and it could possibly enhance your relationship in some way. And if a new partner simply cannot accept you for who you really are, then your relationship really doesn’t have a solid foundation.

Some of us are simply more open minded when it comes to sexuality than others. And some people have strong religious beliefs that prohibit thoughts of such things as same sex attractions, etc. The differences between various groups of people are what make the world an interesting place to live. The trick is finding a partner that is compatible with you and your unique ways.

 

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