After A Breakup: When To Contact Your Ex
Breakups happen, sometimes even to good relationships. The causes can range from a one-time argument to a long-term problem that builds momentum over time. In some cases the relationship was not built on a solid enough foundation so the slightest problems can result in major disputes.
Whatever the reason or cause of the breakup, one partner or both will be left feeling hurt and lost. These feelings are demonstrated differently by different people. Some people will openly cry and show their hurt, even openly displaying signs of depression. But others hide the hurt behind outward demonstrations of anger. For some, a display of anger is more acceptable than that of showing hurt or disappointment.
That does not mean that the hurt is not there. In fact, if there is not hurt, then there is little need for anger at all. Regardless of whether the breakup results in acknowledged feelings of hurt, disappointment, or anger, many times the immediate response is to do whatever it takes to get the ex back.
Unfortunately, an immediate response will almost always be a wrong response. When a break up occurs there are certain things that should take place if you want to get your ex back. Luckily, these steps are easy to follow and they work at least 95% of the time. Check them out!
1) Put some space between you and your ex.
This means that you should give yourself and your ex time to adjust to the situation, and time to think things through before making any attempt at communication.
2) Analyze the relationship and the problems it had.
Determine what went wrong and if it is possible to make things better. This is an important time. Consider if the relationship is worth the work it will take to make things better.
3) Work on being nice to yourself.
Do things that you enjoy or that you have neglected while involved in the relationship.This is a great time to work on self-improvement issues or to rediscover old hobbies. The more you do during this phase the more interesting you will be. That means you will have more to offer when you become involved in a relationship.
4) Spend time with other people.
Begin by spending time with old friends and family members. Then go out on a few dates. This is not necessarily meant to be a way to find a new dating partner, but rather, it offers you an opportunity to see what it’s like to be with other people. You may find that you enjoy their company more than that of your ex. Regardless, you will be learning more about people and how to get along with them. This is another way to make yourself more interesting.
5) Now you are probably ready to contact your ex.
Simply make a brief phone call and ask for a short meeting (perhaps for coffee or lunch). Keeping things brief provides a level of comfort in knowing that there is little chance for past issues to come up and if the meeting is uncomfortable it will be short. If things go well with this meeting you can plan another one. Take things slowly and remember to build into the relationship what was missing before.
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