Is It Love, Lust, Or Infatuation?

When you think of your life long partner, do you think of the word love? Most people do. Of course, some of those relationships started out with lust, or even with an infatuation. So when you meet someone that catches your eye, how do you know if it’s love, or if it’s lust, or if it’s infatuation?

Another way of looking at this is questioning whether a solid relationship can be built on lust or an infatuation. Love is generally understood as being unconditional in nature. If you truly love someone you love them through the good times as well as the bad. You are not only willing to, but you want to grow old with them. Therefore, the thought of them having gray hair and wrinkles is not a turn off, as long as they are by your side when the time of old age comes.

Love is ever lasting and pure. It is what we strive for. Lust on the other hand is desiring someone sexually. So of course it is possible to lust for someone that you love. But you can also lust for someone that you don’t love. The truth is that you do not have to have any feelings of affection at all for the person to lust after them.

So what is an infatuation? There are probably lots of technical definitions but the simple meaning of the word is a very strong, passionate feeling for someone that usually lasts only for a short period of time.

Infatuation perhaps is easier to understand when the term ‘puppy love’ is used as an equal interchange. Young people, particularly teenagers are notorious for feelings of infatuation. They can sometimes easily move from one relationship to another, believing that they are in love with each partner, but only for a short period of time. This is not to say that infatuation is limited only to teens because adults can often become infatuated as well.

But when you are experiencing the intense feelings of passion and seemingly of ‘love’ it can be difficult to differentiate between the three terms: love, lust, infatuation.

To begin the process of weeding through this decision you should ask yourself if you would still care about the person if he/she did something that you think of as negative in some way. Consider whether your feelings would change. If this changes your feelings then you probably do not ‘love’ this person.

Now think about how you would feel about this person if his/her looks would suddenly change drastically. If that changes the way you feel about them then your feelings are more than likely based on lust or infatuation.

Finally, think about how this person makes you feel. Ideally, the person you love will make you feel loved, a sense of trust, and feelings of security. If you immediately think of negative emotions in connection with this person then your feelings for him/her are probably not love.

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